7 Types of People At Your Gym

We’ve all been there, waiting for the leg press guy to thumb through his phone to find the right song to pump weights. Or mesmerized by the beauty queen on the stairclimber as she powers through 50 flights of stairs in one minute. Step into any gym and you’ll immediately notice an array of fitness folks who are there for different reasons.

Check out the following pages for the people you are most likely to encounter and tips on how to deal.

Beauty Badass

This person not only looks awesome, but is awesome, too. As phenomenal as her hair looks right now, her squats make her look like a goddess. She shows up to the gym to work out and she just happens to look amazing doing it.

How to Deal: Don’t be jealous. You probably are this person (#humblebrag). However if you spot another beauty badass, this is what you should do: become best friends! Seriously. Not only will she be a great workout partner, but she probably has some amazing tips on how to “sparkle instead of sweat.” 

ILLUSTRATIONS BY EDGAR VEGA

Social Media Maven

If leg day is not posted on Facebook, did it really happen? Nope. Their favorite hashtag is #fitspo and they know exactly what filters on Instagram show muscle definition. In the end, there's nothing wrong with admiring all of your hard work. It only becomes a problem when their 3-second selfie becomes a 3-hour photoshoot on the one piece of equipment you really want to use. 

How to Deal: Photobomb as much as possible. (Seriously, it is fun.) However, if you are a bit more shy and not camera ready, the best thing to do is let them know you want to use that equipment. Additionally, their head is often looking down and not at the bar you are currently push pressing, so make sure they know you are there or they might get a beauty mark they weren’t expecting. 

The Sweater  

You see a trail of moist droplets on the ground leading to a new lake formed in the middle of the gym, courtesy of the sweater. This person is notorious for leaving a pool of their DNA behind at every machine. Sometimes you’re lucky and they clean it up as they go, but other times you aren’t so lucky and your new workout routine includes wiping down everything they touch. 

How to Deal: We all sweat—some more than others. No reason to judge or throw your nose up in disgust. Simply pick another machine, grab some cleaner and wipe it down or ask them kindly to clean up. 

Crazy Crossfitter

You don’t need a description, because this person will tell you they are a crossfitter. It was probably how they introduced themselves, “Hi, I am a crossfitter.” If they haven’t taken a breath between their AMRAP for Mary to introduce themselves, they are the ones nosediving toward the floor in a vertical position (handstand push-up) and squatting three times their body weight as quickly as possible. 

How to Deal: The best way is to stay out of their way since all they see is the clock counting down. They loathe running, so you can find refuge at the treadmills. 

Cardio Zombie  

They have never lifted a finger unless it meant increasing the speed on the treadmill. They run, bike, and maybe even row, but not lift. Since their heart rate sits at 35 beats/minute they are on the verge of becoming the running dead. (Not a zombie you would want to mess with.) 

How to Deal: They are usually glued to a cardio machine, which means it is difficult to grab one for your workout. Use this as an opportunity to try out a different machine or try your hand at a high intensity interval training (HIIT) circuit workout using free weights.

The Squatter 

Not that kind of squat. I am talking about the kind of person that decides to do their entire workout on one machine. The super squatter uses a variety of machines that they lay claim to for the next 30 minutes of their circuit workout. 

How to Deal: This can be a tough one depending on the equipment. First, see if there is another machine that will accomplish the same thing. If not, politely ask the person if you can hop in between a set. 

The Newbie 

That person swinging themselves instead of the kettlebell or using their arms on a leg press machine is a newbie. During January there is an influx of these people with New Year's resolutions and no game plan. It’s okay, we love them anyway. 

How to Deal: There are two ways to go about it: make their day by helping them out or avoid any area they are using free weights (this is what Kenny Loggins was singing about in the “Danger Zone”). Starting at a gym is difficult, and when you add in all the equipment and the aforementioned mix of people, it can be overwhelming. Don’t feel obligated to commit yourself as their new workout buddy, but show them how to use the piece of equipment they are using. You might earn yourself some good gym karma. (It exists.)