by JB Hager

I realize it’s February and love is in the air. As a man who’s been married almost 12 years, I’m here to tell you that physical activity and sports with your spouse might be the WORST thing you can do. I speak from experience.

Many years ago my wife convinced me to try yoga. Just minutes away from my first class, I emerged from our bedroom in an old tracksuit. Apparently, I looked ridiculous and also a little plump. I didn’t realize she was watching me stretch the outfit like I was in a grape stomp. She fell to the ground laughing and needless to say, that was the end of my yoga career.

Later, I got up the courage to join her in the gym. She knows her way around – I sometimes get on the equipment backwards. She invited me to lay on the ground with her and throw a medicine ball back and forth. On the first attempt, I couldn’t sit up to throw the ball at all. She retrieved a lighter ball. Second attempt, I launched the ball into the lap of an elderly woman enjoying the thigh machine. Again, my wife laughed hysterically. I left in a huff, but not before slamming my head into a lat pull-down bar.

I once convinced her to take up cycling. We bought all the equipment, which is extensive and pretty costly. While on her inaugural ride, I took for granted two very important things: 1. that she was familiar with shifting and 2. that she knew how to unclip her pedals. Not thinking, I took her up a steep hill, where she came to a stop, looked at me franticly and asked, “How do I?” Then, came a loud bang!!!! She hit the ground hard. I tried to explain that everyone falls on the first ride, but she was not amused. That was the end of her cycling career and a great bike find for someone on craigslist.

I also tried to teach her to swim. Again, I mistakenly assumed it was something most people know how to do. I was in the water, watching her stroke, throwing out a few tips. Everything looked fine, but for some strange reason she wasn’t moving forward at all. I couldn’t stop laughing. In the midst of my giggle fit, she got frustrated, jumped out of the pool and stomped off. Trust me, watching someone storm off in goggles makes it twice as entertaining.

We’ve since found our own ways in the fitness world. This keeps the peace in our household and the tendency of laughing at each other to a minimum. Honestly, we can’t even work out at home without teasing each other relentlessly. It’s probably better this way. Believe me, I speak from experience.

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What is “The Funny Side of Fit”?

Every month JB Hager takes a humorous slant on a different topic, sharing his experiences and funny fitness follies

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JB Hager can be heard on the JB and Sandy Morning Show from 6 to 10 a.m. on Mix 94.7 and seen on KEYE 42 from 5 to 7 a.m. weekday mornings.